September 6, 2023
This week I’ve been working on a couple songs
for the new album.
One of which is now up in the
(Called “Shadow / Light”,
yes, just like the
choose-your-own adventure experience
I’ve been running lately.
More on that on the songs-in-process page.)
This other song called “The Reckoning”
will be up soon too.
I’ve gotta say though,
It’s been a struggle writing this other one.
And remember how I’ve said these
studio journal entries are supposed to be
“super personal”?
Well, I’m about to go there right now…haha
It’s hard to get completely personal here
We’re in such a polarizing world right now,
and I don’t like that part of this life.
I get we all have different views,
beliefs, etc.
And I’m okay with that.
I just hate that we can’t all figure out how to get along
no matter what our differences are.
I respect and love people who think and believe
differently than me.
That’s what makes life so beautiful.
Learning and growing with each other
and coming together in spite of our differences.
It’s my belief that the majority of life’s test is
learning how to get along with everyone
no matter what our views are.
THAT SAID, when I get personal here
my hope is to not harm anyone else’s path.
I’m on my own path which some will identify with
and others won’t, and I’m 100% okay with that.
If you don’t identify with my path,
then I totally understand!
And I would hope you would grant me the same
love and respect that I so freely offer you.
ANYWAY… that was a long preface, lol!
On the song “The Reckoning”…
It’s starting to delve deep into
my past relationship with…
organized religion 😬
If you’re in any particular organized religion
please don’t hate me!
I love you regardless of whether
you’re into a specific religion or not.
As for me,
I grew up HARD CORE in a specific religion.
It was my entire self identity.
While I learned and grew a ton from it growing up,
eventually it got to a point where
I personally felt like it wasn’t resonating with me, my kids, or my marriage.
So a few years ago we took a step back,
and I have been exploring spirituality on my own
without a religion telling me “how”.
For me it’s been so incredibly beautiful!
For others…
(like the majority of my close & distant family)
I get why their religion works for them.
And I love and respect them for staying in it.
I have absolutely no problem with it or with them. :)
This decision doesn’t compute in the minds of some
family members of mine who are still in it,
but that’s okay.
My choices don’t have to compute in their minds,
as long as I stay true to what’s in my own heart
as I’ve been saying, “the heart is never wrong”…
and that doesn’t mean that someone else’s heart is wrong if they feel differently than me.
Not at all!
I believe that two different hearts can speak different things
and still both be individually “right” for themselves and their own path
at the same time
because each individual person’s path is so vastly different.
And what’s right for one person
doesn’t mean it has to be right for everyone else.
And I kinda feel like everything we’ve been through
as a human race over the last 3 years
has really been the Universe’s way of producing catalyst
to help all of us understand & embrace that concept.
That’s what I have come to believe anyway.
So in my upcoming song “The Reckoning”
I felt myself digging really deep into the
more bitter feelings toward my religious upbringing.
But hey, better to get it out than bottle it in!
I recognize there is a lot deep down
that still bothers me about all of it.
Part of songwriting for me is deeply cathartic.
It helps me process feelings and emotions
and even discover some that
I didn’t know were lurking beneath!
As I was writing though I kinda felt like
I shouldn’t get too specific with those negative feelings.
Because there is still so much good that religion
can do for others
and is doing for others,
I’d hate to spew my negativity out into the open
and harm someone else’s path who
is benefiting from said religion.
Then again,
I do believe it’s important to be completely authentic
to my Self, my thoughts and my heart
and I shouldn’t have to hide that
for fear of what others will think, do, or say..
but I do believe there is a fine line from
my music being of benefit to those who hear it
and a hinderance.
On the flip side though…
the hope is that it can be a cathartic release for others too who DO identify
with my same feelings if I’m totally
candid in my feelings with the lyrics.
Anyway, these are my thoughts on the matter today.
That could change.
Truth is, I started writing this song 2-3 years ago.
It has taken me this long to finally bring it out into the open.
We’ll see how specific the lyrics get though as I ponder more on
what I feel is best to do with it.
Regardless of which way I take the lyrics,
the song/music itself is sounding SICK.
Can’t wait for you to hear the music part of it!
Stay tuned to the Songs-in-Progress page for it!
And as always, thank you for being here.
And thank you for being you, FUTURE.
MUCH LOVE,
/n8