August 30, 2023
Whelp! It’s been a couple weeks since my last entry.
I try to write these every Wednesday.
August was my birthday month AND
mine and Sarah’s wedding anniversary month 🙌🏻
Plus the kiddos getting back to school
AND on top of all that
my video for “Thanks But No Thanks”
has been getting enough attention to produce
nearing 300 physical CDs shipped out in the last
two and a half weeks alone 🤯
I’m simply blown away at this response
and so excited for more people discovering my music!
It has been a whirlwind figuring out how
to fill so many CD orders
all while still being creative in the studio
and raising a family, but
I feel like I’m in a good groove now.
ANYWAY enough excuses haha!
I’m here again now trying to document the
progress of this next album
in a deeper, more personal way.
The last couple weeks I worked on 3 different songs:
“When Words Fail”
“Find Yourself”
And drumroll please….
“Open Your Wings”
If you’re an OG listener of my music,
you may recognize that last song
as the title from my “Open Your Wings” EP
It’s cuz it is 😁
I felt inspired this week to go back to that one.
Originally I recorded it in 2010 (holy cow).
Back then I knew nothing about
music recording & production.
A friend of mine recorded it at his studio
and did a wonderful job,
but over the last decade of learning
the music biz and studio biz
there are SO many songs from my past
I’d love to go back and re-imagine in the studio.
Well, “Open Your Wings” is at the top of that list.
If you took my Shadow / Light experience
I went into more detail
on the meaning behind that song.
Basically… In a nutshell, it was about
a brutal breakup I had just before meeting Sarah.
Now over a decade later it’s taken on new meaning,
even an almost deeper, spiritual meaning for me
“Now you are dead to me"
“And there’s no chasing after you”
“It’s forcing us to break free”
“Free from our beautiful, terrible dreams”
The original lyric here used to say,
“beautiful mutual dreams”.
The change to “beautiful, terrible” felt inspired
so much so that it is officially…
(second drumroll please)
going to be the official name of my upcoming album!
So the song now isn’t about a past relationship breakup,
but a breakup with my former self,
a breakup with harmful programming from my past,
thus giving birth to a newer version of self…
a new me who cares less about what others think.
a new me who feels more connected to who I AM,
and not who society, culture,
or anyone else wants me to be.
Being true to me, and
what feels right inside MY heart
(the heart is NEVER wrong, so best follow it)
has been the most freeing thing
I’ve been able to practice in recent years of my life.
It only took me 30+ years to get here 🤣
“Fly butterfly, open your wings…
Try for everything you’ve wanted to be
If it’s fear that is holding you back
from your flight, butterfly
don’t be afraid.”
Well, I’m finally giving heed to
my own lyrics from over 13 years ago
And somehow they don’t feel like
lyrics that came from me. 🙏🏻
Anyway, I’m SO stoked to include this
re-imagined older song
on the new “Beautiful, Terrible” album.
I did a little snippet of it on
and Facebook here
Hope you enjoy!
Stay tuned to follow the progress of
that song and the rest of my new album!
/n8