June 28, 2023
If you can believe it..
there's more to my getting-my-voice-back story 😅
Like I mentioned, after seeing my primary care doctor,
an ENT specialist..
an allergist...
and even a phlebotomist...
NOBODY could figure out why my singing voice wasn't coming back.
I mentioned how on my own I intuitively explored my diet
and the vagus nerve in my last entries.
But there's one more area of healing I also explored..
💫 Energy work 💫
So the teaching is that we have different energy centers
(or chakras) in our bodies.
Since I was having vocal issues,
this would correlate with what's known as the "throat chakra"
Throat chakra blockages can occur when one isn't expressing their truest self
Or not saying the things they are truly feeling
Or just straight up not communicating very well.
Well, these are all definitely me at different times.
More often than not I will bite my tongue
and not communicate what I'm truly feeling
Usually for fear of hurting the other person
Or when I'm not expressing my truest self
it's because I feel like I might embarrass myself
But something that I'm still learning is..
There is ALWAYS a healthy way to communicate every emotion
And I never need to be embarrassed to be ME.
But if emotions are bottled up and not expressed
They can explode out like a shaken-up soda bottle
Well this was me
At my LAST doctor appointment
Publicly in the waiting room
In the form of expletives
Directed at the office staff 😳
And when I say exploded,
I literally mean seemingly, uncontrollably exploded
The only thing I can compare it to is when you have food poisoning
Or a stomach bug?
And you get where I'm heading here?
🤮
Yeah...
And I really don't think swearing is a big deal.
But directing expletives directly at another human being
I've always felt this is the line I personally never want to cross.
I immediately felt awful
for what I allowed out of my mouth in that moment.
Even more so because
my four-year-old daughter was present.
And that's def not what I want to teach her,
I don't want to teach her that it's okay to say mean things to people.
But I stormed out of that office with no intention of returning!
We started driving home when 15 mins into the drive my daughter goes,
"I forgot my water tumbler with all my special stickers on it!"
OH. NO.
I DEF didn't want to go back there
like a dog between its legs.
So I tried telling her I'd buy her a new one
But have you ever tried to get an adorable 4 year old
with tears in her eyes
to agree with you
when deep down you know you're wrong?
Yeah... I couldn't. Lol.
So I took it as a sign that I needed to turn around
And make peace with the people to whom I negatively expressed my frustrations
(As difficult as it was)
So when we got back to the doctor office
​I picked up my daughter and carried her back in and asked her,
"Can I carry you while we're in there to help me stay calm?"
Of course the adorable little princess agreed to this.
And it worked.
Man, I love my kids
I made peace with the doctor's office
got my daughter's tumbler back
And went home
I'll pause here because..
the final part of this story goes into how a hypnotherapist
helped me discover why there were energy blockages in my throat area
You may or may not believe in this stuff
And that's totally okay
But regardless it's the final part of the story worth sharing!
Until my next entry…
/n8