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June 28, 2023

If you can believe it..

there's more to my getting-my-voice-back story 😅

Like I mentioned, after seeing my primary care doctor,

an ENT specialist..

an allergist...

and even a phlebotomist...

NOBODY could figure out why my singing voice wasn't coming back.

I mentioned how on my own I intuitively explored my diet

and the vagus nerve in my last entries.

But there's one more area of healing I also explored..

💫 Energy work 💫

So the teaching is that we have different energy centers

(or chakras) in our bodies.

Since I was having vocal issues,

this would correlate with what's known as the "throat chakra"

Throat chakra blockages can occur when one isn't expressing their truest self

Or not saying the things they are truly feeling

Or just straight up not communicating very well.

Well, these are all definitely me at different times.

More often than not I will bite my tongue

and not communicate what I'm truly feeling

Usually for fear of hurting the other person

Or when I'm not expressing my truest self

it's because I feel like I might embarrass myself

But something that I'm still learning is..

There is ALWAYS a healthy way to communicate every emotion

And I never need to be embarrassed to be ME.

But if emotions are bottled up and not expressed

They can explode out like a shaken-up soda bottle

Well this was me

At my LAST doctor appointment

Publicly in the waiting room

In the form of expletives

Directed at the office staff ðŸ˜³

And when I say exploded,

I literally mean seemingly, uncontrollably exploded

The only thing I can compare it to is when you have food poisoning

Or a stomach bug?

And you get where I'm heading here? 

🤮

Yeah...

And I really don't think swearing is a big deal.

But directing expletives directly at another human being

I've always felt this is the line I personally never want to cross.

I immediately felt awful

for what I allowed out of my mouth in that moment.

Even more so because

my four-year-old daughter was present.

And that's def not what I want to teach her,

I don't want to teach her that it's okay to say mean things to people.

But I stormed out of that office with no intention of returning!

We started driving home when 15 mins into the drive my daughter goes,

"I forgot my water tumbler with all my special stickers on it!"

OH. NO.

I DEF didn't want to go back there

like a dog between its legs.

So I tried telling her I'd buy her a new one

But have you ever tried to get an adorable 4 year old

with tears in her eyes

to agree with you

when deep down you know you're wrong?

Yeah... I couldn't. Lol.

So I took it as a sign that I needed to turn around

And make peace with the people to whom I negatively expressed my frustrations

(As difficult as it was)

So when we got back to the doctor office

​I picked up my daughter and carried her back in and asked her, 

"Can I carry you while we're in there to help me stay calm?"

Of course the adorable little princess agreed to this.

And it worked.

Man, I love my kids

I made peace with the doctor's office

got my daughter's tumbler back

And went home

I'll pause here because..

the final part of this story goes into how a hypnotherapist

helped me discover why there were energy blockages in my throat area
 
You may or may not believe in this stuff

And that's totally okay

But regardless it's the final part of the story worth sharing!

Until my next entry…

/n8

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