July 5, 2023
This is the FINAL part of this soap opera
between my lost voice and me 😅
And MAN I really didn't expect to write this MUCH
about me losing my voice.
This is really kinda personal stuff,
but like I alluded to in my last entry...
gotta clear out that throat chakra, right?!
Being real about this stuff with you
is how I am trying to keep that clear too,
expressing my truest self with all of you 🙏🏻
So in the middle of the WORST of my frustration with my lost voice
I decided to book a session with a hypnotherapist.
This actually wasn't the first time I've done this.
A couple years ago I met with one
and had a life changing experience.
Maybe I'll share that another time though.
You may or may not believe in this kind of stuff
And if you don't that's totally okay
But for me it was beyond helpful
and that's all I can truly speak to.
But if you're new to the idea of what hypnotherapy is
They don't actually put you to sleep
But more of a VERY deep form of meditation.
It's when your mind is in that same state
of right before you wake up from sleeping
or right before you fall asleep,
that point when usually you remember what you just dreamt,
or have really interesting thoughts/ideas.
Funny enough...
historical artists, writers,
and even other great thinkers
like Einstein and Edison
understood that the mental state between asleep and awake
is the best time to tap into the subconscious or superconscious
to find answers to their problems.
The philosophy of this particular hypnotherapist that I saw though
is that what (or who) is actually being tapped into in this state
is "the higher self"
or in other words... your FUTURE self 🤯💫
(get it, Fenwick & the "Futures"? 😁)
So of course I had to go experience this myself haha
Especially given the tragedy over losing my voice for so long.
Really though, according to this teaching
time as we understand it on Earth
is not actually linear outside of this human experience
But past, present, and future are happening all at once
Trying to understand how that works
makes my brain twitch a little, lol...
Anyway, the hypnotherapist told me to
prepare some questions beforehand
that I would like to ask my "higher self".
By the time I was able to book an appointment with her though
my voice had just newly come back
so instead of asking how to heal my voice
I sought understanding as to what caused the long-term vocal issue to begin with
more so than what actually healed it.
In the end, I think all the stories I told
from my emails before this one
aided the healing.
But what my higher self revealed
thru this hypnotherapy
(and I'm getting all teary eyed right now typing this out)
is that me losing my voice for so long
was a catalyst
(or shadow)
that I needed to experience,
embrace,
appreciate,
in order to MORE fully appreciate the light.
The light that my singing voice brings
The soul mission that my higher self has charged me with in this life
To sing.
To create melodies in space & time
Melodies that cause vibrations in the air
to wake the soul that they reach
to help them figure out why they're here too.
Expressing my truest self through this means.
(tying back to that throat chakra entry)
And not allow my fear of failure
or my own self-conscious insecurities
get in the way.
And this isn't me "wanting to go viral" as a musician.
As long as I can reach just one soul with my voice & music,
one soul is sufficient because
truly, we are all one.
I've attempted to do this with Fenwick & the Futures in the past
But with the pandemic & the world shutting down
And just life in general causing distractions
I lost sight of that.
And energetically my body/throat/vocal cords knew this
But my conscious mind wasn't as keen to it.
Thus the vocal issue was my own subconscious way of
waking myself up to this,
my soul mission again.
So here I am
recommitting myself to it.
And I truly thank YOU
with all of MY heart and soul
for being here to witness it. 🙏🏻
/n8 aka "Fenwick & the Futures"
Ps- Have you ever felt like you have a soul mission? Something you charged yourself to accomplish in this life before you came here? Or maybe you've felt lost in trying to find it? I can 100% relate. Either way, would love to hear all about it. 🖤♡
/n8