July 12, 2023
This week I busted out an older song (linked below)
from my 2017 “Visionaries” album
and created a new loop video for it.
For those audio nerds out there like me
you may notice something interesting about the red
recording audio file on my computer screen
in the background…
My vocal mic was SHORTING out on me
during the majority of the performance.
But all the other instrumental parts were golden
so I kept this final video take
and used previously-recorded vocals
to overdub in later instead.
Overall it was a blast to make,
and I have my 11-year old son to thank
for doing such a great job on the filming.
He’s gotten quite good at it,
and he loves making a little extra cash
whenever I give him a filming job to do haha.
I can’t believe this song is already 6 years old!
Whenever I re-visit an old song
I reflect on the meaning(s) from when I wrote it
and what new meaning(s) it might have now.
This song is called “Part of the Ride”.
Like most of my songs
it’s primarily about mental health,
exploring past traumas,
and trying to process them.
A more in-depth exploration of it’s original meaning
is written about in the Song Lore section
of my free Shadow / Light Choose-Your-Path Music Experience.
This journal entry though is more about
what the song means to me now.
Particularly the bridge section
which is the primary highlight of this new loop video.
The lyrics read,
“This is the last time that I give in to this lie”
“This is the last that I get on for this ride”
While my mind has been on Shadow and Light lately,
this lyric line epitomizes this cycle
of Shadow and Light
which seems to be present throughout life.
For me the “lie” referred to here is the lie I tell myself.
Especially in a social media-driven world
the Shadow primarily brings these lies up in the mind:
“I’m not (fill-in-the-blank) enough.”
-or-
“I’m too (fill in the blank with negative characteristic).”
Etc.
How can one break this cycle of negativity in the mind?
For me it starts with embracing that part of me.
Acknowledging the thought,
even thank it for being there.
Embrace the shadow by
telling myself that it’s okay that I feel this way.
But then follow it up with telling myself
all the positives about me and about my life,
thus welcoming the light
into that shadowy corner of my mind
and bringing shadow and light together as one whole.
Doing this kind of inner work for me is really difficult.
But it does help in a crazy world like we’re in today.
Half the battle though can be
just consciously recognizing
that the shadowy thought is there in the first place!
Rather than hopping on “the ride” of
buying into every negative thought that
rears it’s ugly shadowy head in my brain..
I can tell myself,
“This is the last time that I get on for this ride”
and then jump into this type of inner work.
Until next week!
/n8