Simply beautiful isn't it?

When I look at this

I can't help but think about

how much my "shadow-side"

yearns to be understood,

embraced,

accepted,

and loved.



What is my "shadow-side"?

For the last couple weeks

I've been swimming with my three kids.

My two oldest kids

know how to swim.

But my youngest (5-yr-old)

has been terrified of the water.

My wife Sarah and I

have made huge progress

with her this summer though.

She will now feel okay enough

to get in the pool

if she is wearing both a life jacket

while also sitting

in a floaty / inner tube seat.

I've had a bad feeling about this combo

of floatation devices

ever since she started using them.

Every time she gets in the pool

I envision her getting stuck

head-first in the water

legs sticking straight up

while still sitting in the inner tube

and her life jacket making it harder

for her to pull herself out

from under the inner tube.

Nevertheless I've ignored the hazard

and told myself to just keep

a close eye on her

every time she's using both.

Besides, we didn't want to discourage

her progress of being brave enough

to get in the pool,

and wearing both floaties

has helped her feel safe enough

to overcome her fear of water.



The vision came true...

Sometimes I can't help but wonder

when I foresee something bad happening...

is it just anxiety / unnecessary worry?

Or am I seeing the future?

Or perhaps

is my future being created

based on the energy of thought

that I put into that potential reality?

Well, let me climb out of that

deep rabbit hole of thinking

long enough to say that

exactly what I described earlier

about me envisioning

her getting trapped under her inner tube

ACTUALLY HAPPENED this weekend.

😱

Luckily I was in the pool

able to get to her in time.

But while i witnessed her

flipping over,

upside down,

head first under water,

with her legs straight up out of the water,

her torso trapped under her inner tube,

and her struggling to flip herself back over

fighting to get a breath of air,

it felt like time slowed down.

I was only a few feet away from her

but it felt like I was swimming through

the thickest of mud

in order to get to her in time.

The image of her near-drowning

became deeply engraved in my mind.



And I couldn't sleep that night...

The thought that I almost lost

my baby girl

has haunted me all weekend.

But that first night

I couldn't stop beating myself up:

"What if I DIDN'T get to her in time?"

"What if she had drowned?"

"What if today was the last time

my sweet child was alive on this Earth?"

Etc...

I tortured myself over this all night.

But I soon realized

these thoughts

came from my "shadow side"



Embracing the shadow

As soon as I recognized

this side of me

that wanted to tear myself apart

over something terrible

that could have happened

but DIDN'T happen,

I was able to embrace it,

love it,

and accept it:

Yes, I am terrified of losing

any of my kids.

And it's okay to feel that.

I accept this fear of mine

as part of my Earth experience.

And if I ever DID

lose one of my kids

it would be devastating,

but that HASN'T happened

My daughter is OKAY.

She is alive,

breathing,

and now she calls me "her superhero daddy".

Which completely melts my heart.

😍

Experiencing the "shadow" too

of almost losing her

has caused me to appreciate

that much MORE

the "light" she brings

into my every-day life.



Life is full of Shadow & Light

and recognizing the roles

that each  shadow / light experience

plays in my every-day life

makes life so much more purposeful.

Each shadow / light experience

teaching me a new lesson.

What shadow / light experiences have you had lately?

I'd love to hear all about 'em!

Also, stay tuned for next week as I’ll be

sharing all about my recent music video-making adventures!

/n8

<-July 26, 2023

July 12, 2023 ->

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